Weightloss and Unsupportive Family & Friends that comes with it…

Posted on 14. Aug, 2010 by in The Mind

This seems to be a trend with losing weight and getting fit. As your appearance changes and becomes more dramatic over months and years, it almost never fails that the people closest to you start poking fun and question whether or not you’re doing things the right way. All of a sudden they’re weight loss experts (even though 95% of them are overweight) and they feel that you’re doing something dramatic or dangerous to lose weight, rather simple exercise and diet. They feel that you are out of control and that you don’t know what you’re doing.

At least that’s what it sounds like from my perspective…

My goal weight is 175 pounds. I’m only a few pounds away from that goal. My starting weight was 336 pounds several years ago, a 161 pound difference once I reach my goal weight of 175 pounds. Today I weigh 179 pounds after a depressed eating frenzy last night. :(

I take what people say about me to heart and at times let it affect me. It’s funny, the people that I’ve just met the past few months think I’m doing great and look great as well. My family and friends on the other hand say stuff like this:

  • “you’re wither away” – close friend I’ve known for a couple years
  • “you look like a crackhead” – Uncle
  • “if you don’t start eating something I’m going to have to force feed you” – close friend I’ve known for 10+ years
  • “you look sick” – mom
  • “you look different, you need to STOP losing weight” – mom
  • “you look completely different, you don’t look like Jay anymore” -uncle
  • “soon you’re going to disappear” – close friend I’ve known for a couple years
  • “so what’s going on, are you not eating?” – friend I’ve known for 10+ years
  • “are you throwing up? Are you not eating anymore? You look completely different” – Uncle

And the list can go on and on as it seems every time I’m near these people, I hear their negative (with positive sometimes) feedback and I’m getting sick of it. Most of them do not know about this blog and I’d like to keep it like that. And apparently they don’t know my goals or how I’m reaching them, because if they did they probably wouldn’t say stuff like this. I guess they didn’t believe me when I said getting fit and healthy would be my number one goal in life. It’s everything to me right now. There is literally nothing above my health and fitness, and because of this way of thinking I have been able to make dramatic changes to the way I look and feel.

This is me the first week I started this blog, December 7th 2009 at 268 pounds:

And this is me today after a workout, I’m 179 pounds here:

Diet and exercise does work!

I’m going to think of their opinions as uneducated and an unwarranted cause of alarm due to dramatic changes I’ve gone through. The funny thing is if they’re causing such a ruckus at this stage of the game, I wonder what they’ll say 6 months to a year from now when I bulk up. I can either take it as a challenge to surprise them or give in to their poking and quit, which I hope doesn’t happen.

Sigh..

Jay,
Current Weight: 179 lbs.
Goal Weight: 175 lbs.
Heaviest Weight: 336 lbs.
Current Body Fat: 10.8%
Goal Body Fat: 8%

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8 Responses to “Weightloss and Unsupportive Family & Friends that comes with it…”

  1. Alan (Pounds Off Playoff)

    14. Aug, 2010

    First of all, your progress is amazing. And you’re not the only one who goes through this. I’ve had a lot of communications training lately…have you shared with these people how it makes you feel when they say these things? Good luck. These are important people in your life. Stay in the conversation, but don’t let it just be about their interpretation of your loss.

    Reply to this comment

  2. David

    15. Aug, 2010

    I agree with Alan ghat you should represent your side if this to them. You have the facts on your side. Healthy is healthy. Must admit it is strange to me that they are not excited for you. This is amazing stuff you are doing. People have been mostly jealous of my achievement, but congratulatory. They’re just shocked that you look like a totally different person than what they had become used to. Nothing wrong with improvement. Let them get used to this new you. If you can keep it up for years… maybe they’ll follow. :)
    David´s last [type] ..Four month goal- lose 14 pounds

    Reply to this comment

    • Jay

      15. Aug, 2010

      Thanks David, I think it’s just the shock of seeing me in a different light. While they say I look different (in their own way), a majority say it’s a good different. I read other people’s experiences with this and it seems it takes awhile before they can get used to the NEW you.. so I guess in a few months things will be okay and it won’t be brought up anymore. I’ll hang in there. :)

      Reply to this comment

  3. Anthony

    17. Aug, 2010

    Jay,

    Congratulations on your progress! Keep it up. Don’t let other people’s comments get you down. Yeah, you would think that people (especially friends and family) would be nothing but ecstatic for you, but sadly sometimes they are not. I think some of it has to do with the fact that your success and commitment reminds them of failures in their lives, be them weight loss or otherwise. I know that when I fell off the gym wagon a few months ago I was secretly rooting for my co-worker to fail as well so I wouldn’t feel so bad about my own failure. It’s sad, but true.

    Also, sometimes I think as a nation we have become so overweight we’ve skewed what a normal weight looks like.

    Peace, Anthony

    Reply to this comment

    • Jay

      18. Aug, 2010

      Thanks for your comment Anthony. After talking to them the next day, for some reason they were more supportive and positive. My uncle said it was just the shock of not seeing me in a long time (3 months). He said he just needed time to get used to the new me… so I’m okay with that. :)

      Reply to this comment

  4. Robb

    28. Oct, 2010

    Just wanted to say congrats on your achievements. I’ve gone through the same crap from friends and family… still ongoing in fact… have lost 240+ lbs, and am in the process of bulking up (which is CRAZY FUN btw, you’re gonna love that part of the process.) In any case, yep, everyone suddenly becomes a “diet guru” when you lose a lot of weight… I started getting crap from people about it when I cross the “obese” range into the “overweight” range. “Don’t lose any more!!” Ugh. Overweight is the new thin I guess. No wonder 66% of Americans are overweight or obese. Our standards have been so dramatically lowered. Anyhow… I’m hanging on by a thread here with my tolerance of their garbage. It’s just insane. Best of luck! Have fun bulking up!!!

    Reply to this comment

    • Jay

      12. Nov, 2010

      Thanks Robb! Bulking up is fun! I like the all you can eat Chicken days! Lol.. :)

      Reply to this comment

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  1. Goal Reached – I’m Done! | JayLoss - 22. Aug, 2010

    [...] By the way to see some pictures of where I’ve come from and where I am now, check out this post. [...]

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